Uh oh, last year I made it two weeks into the New Year and what on earth happened to my resolutions? I was holding strong until the end of the first week when, mysteriously, I found myself reaching for the Pinot Noir instead of the Pilates mat. Hey, don’t judge – when you’re working from the kitchen table, it’s a fairly seamless transition from the “Home Barista” group (yes, that’s a thing) to the “It’s-5-o’clock-Somewhere” club!
So, this year I am seriously reviewing my last year’s list of New Year resolutions: Cut Out Carbs, Be Tidier, Drink More Water, Organize Spice Rack Alphabetically, Join Book Club, Write My Memoirs…OMG! STOP! Recycling is important, yes – but in what life am I going Create Macrame Plant Hangers from my old T-Shirts? This is just a long list of chores. I’m setting myself up to fail miserably again! What I actually need to do is put notes on my calendar such as “It’s Twizzlers Tuesday” and “Yay, French Fries Friday” as well as pop-up reminders like “Don’t Forget the Chardonnay is in the Freezer” and “Your Monthly Pedicure’s at 3pm, Dragon Lady” and so on…
Lesson learned. With the world in turmoil, let’s set goals that are fun, projects that will make us happier, and a “to-do” list that doesn’t feel like work. We still must get dressed every day (usually) so we should buy clothing that helps us avoid the ‘nothing-to-wear” meltdown and make us feel and look great. With this in mind, here are my suggestions for a new set of resolutions for 2022 – resolutions that you can actually keep! Top of this list has to be Buying New Underwear!
New Year, New You! 12 Resolutions You Can Actually Keep! Share on XNew Year Resolution #1 – Up the Ante on Your Panties
…be honest, did we gain a few pounds this year? And, woe, they all settled right around the mid-section, amirite?
I’m all for body positive but even Bridget Jones would agree that any sexy outfit can be ruined by unsightly muffin-tops. As she memorably said, “If I actually do, by some terrible chance, end up in flagrante surely these…tiny knickers…would be most attractive at crucial moment. However, chances of reaching crucial moment greatly increased by wearing these scary stomach-holding-in pants very popular with grannies the world over.”
That’s why I’ve been taking a more active interest in shapewear! (And currently I’m eyeing the 14-day Rapid Fat Loss Diet.)
Luckily, there is no shortage of Bridget Jones granny panties on the market! The selection is in fact so vast that one might suspect there has been a conspiracy afoot – so I’m narrowing it down for you. Maidenform utilizes their “Cool Comfort” fabric which gives stretch and coverage of troublesome spots. Also, Wacoal’s high-waisted brief in Pima cotton helps eliminate muffin tops, visible panty lines, and “wedgies” as well as hiding unsightly lumps and bumps.
New Year Resolution #2 – release your inner artist!
Some people go to art school and spend years learning how make cool stuff. For the rest of us, just wandering down the aisles in the art supply store can be the toughest part of DIY projects. Luckily, we don’t have to toil away in the wilderness like Van Gogh, we can use the kitchen table – and BONUS, as previously discussed, the Chardonnay is chillin’ nearby. Hey, why buy a print from Ikea or the museum when you can splash some paint on a canvas? Our projects may not always turn out perfectly but in the words of the immortal Bob Ross, “There are no mistakes, only happy accidents.” Craftsy is a good place to start your budding art career because they’re giving away a one-year premium membership for $2.49!
New Year Resolution #3 – Learn to Cook
There is no excuse for a ho-hum cooking, and I KNOW you’re spending way too much with Uber Eats! But how to start upping your kitchen game? Why not put the cost of one order of lukewarm Drunkman Noodles towards a cooking class and learn to cook real Italian food? Nonna Live is an online live cooking experience taught exclusively by Italian grandmothers! January’s class is Big Ravioli Cacio and Pepe with egg yolk – yum!
New Year Resolution #4 – Spend more time at the beach!
Maybe you can’t jump on a plane and fly to your favorite all-inclusive getaway in the Caribbean or sail to the tropics on a cruise ship. But that’s no excuse not to spend a lovely day with your toes in the sand – get in the car or on the Jitney and head to beaches before the summer when there are no crowds and stop at the local clam shack for a bowl of steamers and a basket of fried shrimp! You’ll return home tired and happy. Don’t forget your Peony bikini!
New Year Resolution #5 – Take more naps…zzzzz
If there was one benefit to pandemic life, it had to be the ability to take a cat nap after that three hour zoom meeting. After all, you had your pajamas on already. But you felt guilty, I know you did. This year put it on your daily “to do” list and give yourself permission for a little extra “me time”. Don’t forget your Bunny Hop vibrator.
New Year Resolution #6 – Buy yourself flowers every week!
I’ve seen you lingering at the local flower stand with that wistful look on your face. From now on, buy yourself that little bouquet of daisies or roses! Weekly!
New Year Resolution #7 – Learn how to bake a fancy cake…
Every week I get a recipe in my in-box from Nigella Lawson for a delicious looking Pavlova or strawberry filled Angel Food Cake. Since I’ve already scratched “No Carbs” off my list, now I give myself permission to learn how to bake a fancy cake. Yes, I can do the Betty Crocker Brownies or Choc cake mix and doozy it up with some extra nuts or marshmallows, but that is not the same thing, is it? Get out the mixing bowl!
New Year Resolution #8 – Up your hostess game!
Martha Stewart didn’t become successful by serving guests drinks with ice that smelled like five-year-old frozen vegetables. You might not have the skills to become a legendary hostess, but you can still impress your guests with thoughtful hostess details like fancy ice-cubes!
New Year Resolution #9 – Create your own signature cocktail!
This is one situation when “practice makes perfect” is not a problem. Next, teach your local bartender to make it and happy hour will be so much fun.
New Year Resolution #10 – Leave a little sparkle wherever you go.
Good vibes, baby. The power of positivity and kindness goes a long way.
New Year Resolution #11 – Drink rosé all winter long
It’s such a cheerful sip, why does it have to be only enjoyed in the summer? I am putting my foot down and drinking it all year round.
New Year, New You Resolution #12 – Accept good advice…
Nana was right – as usual.
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