Do You (Still) Love Working from Home?

A page from my (still) working from home diary:

8am: I am gently roused from sweet slumber by the natural light of the sun shining on my face and the sound of birds chirping on my windowpane…JK! I violently SNOOZE my alarm and throw the pillow over my ears to drown out the sounds of construction on the North Brooklyn waterfront.

8:10am: What’s a couple extra minutes of sleep?

8:20am: I was never really going to do that morning vinyasa flow anyway.

8:45am: Oh shit, I snoozed one too many times. I leap out of bed and head straight for the bathroom. Flashing back to my resume – in which I proudly claim to be “a relentless multitasker” – I brush my teeth, put on a pot of coffee, and open my laptop in one fell swoop. Back at the sink, I wash my face with Glossier Milky Jelly Cleanser, moisturize with Belif Aqua Bomb, and slather on two fingers worth of my Tula Sunscreen (even indoors, people – I won’t argue about this).

9am: Right on time to log into Slack and catch up on the #general channel gossip. Today is Sharon’s birthday. Happy birthday, Sharon!

9:15am: I decide to prioritize my tasks by creating an hour-by-hour to-do list for the day. I pull out a fresh pad of paper from Post Boxed. It was a thank you gift from the summer intern. It has sailboats on it. I am reminded of the fading summer and drift into a wistful daydream of Aperol Spritzes and rooftop sunsets.

9:30am: It’s time to celebrate my productivity and superior organization by going on Instagram.

10:15am: …Oops. Well, I can’t focus until I have had my breakfast. It is the most important meal of the day after all! I go into the kitchen and consider making a Greek yogurt, gluten-free granola, fresh fruit parfait while shmearing an everything bagel. I eat my breakfast standing at the counter scrolling through the New York Times app.

10:45am: Time to get dressed for my 11am check-in with my manager. My style goal is “workleisure.” I pull on a Eberjey bra and layer it with a Madewell pink short sleeved ‘daisy eyelet” cotton button up. On the bottom – red and green flannel pajama pants with ice skating penguins from Aerie circa 2010. It should be noted that I changed out of my night pajama pants into my day pajama pants. I’m a professional, after all.

11am: “This week I am focused on pushing forward [insert major project]. I am so excited to fully own this initiative and continue to increase my responsibilities on the team! As you know, I am leaning into collaborating with Diane, who is a key cross functional stakeholder on this project.” *internal dialogue*. Diane makes twice my salary and has not responded to my emails since May 4th.

11:35am: Will she keep me in this check-in for the full hour? Because that cup of coffee is going right through me…

11:50am: I run to the porcelain throne and open up TikTok.

12:45pm: I’ve somehow found myself horizontal on the couch with that condescending TikTok evangelist telling me, “It looks like you’ve been scrolling for a while. Maybe it’s time to drink some water.” Welp, I guess it’s lunchtime. I spend a half hour scrolling through Uber Eats before deciding the nuke last night’s spaghetti and meatballs. While the Tupperware is spinning in the microwave, I turn on a casual episode of Parks and Rec to help me unwind while I eat.

2pm: BYE BYE LIL SEBASTIAN.

2:30pm: Alright, it’s time to put my name on the day. I open up the Google Slides presentation for [insert major project]. All of Diane’s sections are empty, despite the fact that I have tagged her in the comments multiple times. I dedicate the rest of the day to aligning all of the text boxes to the left.

4:30pm: I send the Slides link to my manager on Slack. I am rewarded with a thumbs up emoji. This is the validation I need to end my day early. I shut my laptop and fling myself the 10 feet from my desk chair to my bed.

5:30pm: I wake up in a panic and a sweat. I dreamed Diane had demanded all the Slides be oriented to the right. The horror.

6pm: I fill up my Hydro Flask, change into an Fabletics Yoga sports bra and legging set, and log into a livestream barre class. The instructor thanks me for showing up today. I feel seen.

7pm: I lie on the floor, panting, and FaceTime my sister. I complain about Diane.

7:30pm: I turn on the shower and hop in. There is a year-old Eucalyptus branch hanging from my shower head. I squirt some Babo Body Cleanser that I got for Christmas into a loofah and scrub the day away to my own rendition of Abba’s “Chiquitita”. I quickly wash my face with Milky Jelly and turn the water off. I towel dry and throw on a fresh XL Hanes cotton tee from my clean laundry tub.

8pm: I put my iPad on the kitchen counter and open the ABC app to stream Bachelor in Paradise. As the theme song plays, I pull a chicken breast out of the fridge and put some sushi rice on to boil. I chop ginger and garlic and mix with a tablespoon of miso. I heat some olive oil in a cast iron skillet and pan sear the chicken. I pour a Trader Joe’s salad mix in a bowl, plate the chicken and rice, and send a picture to my mom.

10pm: After the high of Paradise (several people were not there for the right reasons), I return to the bathroom to floss and brush my teeth. I dab on a pea sized amount of Differin on my face and slather a healthy glob of First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Cream on top. I wipe Aquaphor over my lips.

10:15pm: I make a cup of chamomile tea and a piece of toast with butter and honey. I bring my nighttime snack to my bedside table.

10:30pm: I flip open the covers on my bed and climb in. Cozy city! I turn off my bedside lamp. Parks and Rec and, after a couple episodes, my eyes start to gently shut.

11:30pm: I close my iPad and allow myself to be pulled into a sweet slumber. Until tomorrow!

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